Spring brings with it the promise of renewal, yet so many of us remain rooted in situations that no longer serve us. When a woman complains but doesn’t move forward, the question isn’t simply “why won’t she change?”—it’s “what would it truly take to become unstuck?”
Looking inward at my own experiences, I’ve recognized that sometimes stillness comes from an internal knowingness that it simply isn’t time to move. This intuition deserves our respect and honor. But what about those moments when we genuinely can’t see a path forward?
Is it because we lack tools, education, money, or support? Is a mindset shift needed? Are we somehow attracted to negative energy or playing the victim? Why is it that we can tolerate painful situations but resist the temporary discomfort of change? What must we surrender to transform—money, relationships, time, or simply the comfort of familiar pain?
I believe it’s misguided to reduce stagnation to a simple lack of mindset or discipline. Life contains real complexities that make navigating change difficult, even for the most capable among us. The “mindset gurus” who prescribe universal solutions often fail to recognize that their tools and circumstances aren’t universally applicable.
Instead, begin with kindness toward yourself. Wherever negative self-talk, self-criticism, or shame exists, self-sabotage inevitably follows. Even if you don’t love who you are today, love the version of yourself you’re striving to become. Reaffirm what works, what feels positive, what generates self-respect. Lean into that self-love, however fragile it may feel.
At my lowest points, I found salvation in friends and mentors who recognized my goodness, my positive qualities, and my potential. When I couldn’t believe in myself, I borrowed their vision of me and tried to live accordingly. Step by step, I built a new self—not all at once, but incrementally.
Occasionally, I would notice moments of calm, of being able to breathe freely again. The further from crisis I moved, the more peace I found. Eventually, I reached a point where I could imagine different futures again. With these visions came opportunities to consider what was truly right for me.
Not every decision was deliberate. Sometimes immediate choices were necessary. Some worked out; others didn’t. I lived with those consequences either way, continuing to fight negative self-talk and learning self-love. Rinse and repeat.
So back to being stuck—with all I’ve experienced, I’ve come to recognize that sometimes staying stuck is part of the process. I need to honor this in myself and others. When that moment of readiness finally arrives, ensure you have people in your corner who will help.
Yes, you can do things alone, and sometimes that’s necessary, but as humans, solitary struggles cannot sustain us. We need each other. The healthier I become, the more I want supportive people in my circle. I’m clearer about who belongs in my inner circle and who doesn’t, which helps preserve my peace and support my progress.
When I encounter someone who feels stuck, I ask questions that might connect them to their inner knowingness. That deep connection to self can and will guide you from darkness. Others might guess at your blocks, but deep down, you know. And if looking inward proves too difficult, look outward. Sometimes seeing your greatness reflected in others’ eyes is where the journey begins.
